Sunday, May 01, 2005

what a wonderful world

On the morning of Beltane Eve, I turned to my iPod for my daily dose of divination. The first three songs were; Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Ring of Fire and What a Wonderful World, as covered by K.D. Lang and Tony Bennett. Once again, when I heard the third song, tears began dribbling down my face. Girls having fun, the going down and the fiery heat, well, that makes sense at Beltane. Those songs had me smiling, as it was looking like that was exactly were the day would be headed. Back in the fall, I was talking to my sister about the possibility of invoking a long celibacy. I'd had the incredible realization that three months had been my limit on not having sex since the age of 15. There was short silence and Stacy said; “Yeah, but we’re just not the celibate type.”

What a Wonderful World put me immediately in touch with why I’m not the celibate type, and why sex is such a magical act. At Beltane, with spring at it’s fullest, with the fecundity of nature showing off with grand gestures, we are called to participate, to chime in on the great song of love being sung. Sex is an affirmation, a spell, an ode to the life force. It truly is a form of prayer, a form that has always agreed with me. Every lyric in What a Wonderful World is what the prayer of the give and take of orgasms is aimed at. Sex can be about power, about habit, about degradation, about pain, and about desperation. Life can be about these too. Both are sacred, in all their aspects, the trick is to remember we have options. Even in the worst of times, it's possible to tune into the miracle of life on this planet, and not forget the downright pleasure of being a sexual being. I'm working on being open to both, trusting both will play out in exactly the way they are meant to be, with me participating, but not clutching or too invested in outcome. This openess is one way to worship this beautiful green planet. I want this world. I love this world. It’s wonderful.

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