The last few days have been so chock full I’ve had barely time to catch up with myself, much less write. The weather has been a magic mirror to my internal state, one minute the sky is bright and clear, the next overcast and tearing up. And every day I am struck by what a festival of fertility this month truly is. It is crazy beautiful in this city by the sea.
While the city is aglow in blossoms and greenery, so many things that have been in the works personally have finally come to fruition. Today the last of the divorce papers got notarized. Yesterday the contract on the house was finally signed. There’s so many beginnings and endings right now I can’t keep up with them. It all seems in the spirit of May, and tuning into that spirit is what is helping me go with the flow and not get scared. It feels a little like going downhill on a bike, one part of me wanting to put my feet down or brake, the other loving the feeling of the air rushing past, trusting my ability to steer and stay upright. The latter continues to be in the lead.
The night before last I awoke with a start. Somewhere between 1 and 2 am, I lay there trying to remember what I had been dreaming. Then there was a sudden strong jolt, as if a large animal had jumped on the bed. An earthquake. I laughed out loud. Everything is moving, everything is shifting. As I lay there and felt the reverberations in this old house from the strong shake, I realized I was anything but afraid. I was happy.
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