the truth is self-evident

Yesterday morning, as my spouse (and using that word is a spell) was sobbing, she kept repeating "why do they hate us so much?".

I told her...amidst my own tears.... that it wasn't so much hate as fear. Fear of difference, fear of change, fear of sexuality, and fear of all of us being fully in our power. Love is the antidote and it will prevail. Harvey Milk was right when he said we must "come out, come out, wherever you are".

I've been a therapist for many years and have worked with countless folks in the coming out process.The coming out process is essentially iron pentacle work. It involves reclaiming sex, pride, self, power and passion. The process of becoming self actualized means all of us, straight or gay, come out in one way or another. All of us go through a process of claiming our authentic selves, a process that never truly ends. Those of us who are queer, well, we have a bit of a rougher road to hoe in coming out.

For many, coming out means standing up to extreme prejudice and fear. Some lose their families completely. That does happen. But a lot of times, love triumphs...or at the least occasionally gets the upperhand over fear.

I've personally experienced this. My spouse's family actively struggles between the poles of love and fear, and my son struggles with his love for me and my spouse and teenage fear of
embarrassment and ridicule from peers.

Last Sunday, as my son hugged me and my spouse, with a big smile on his face, I felt love triumph. He said our wedding "was tight". He became less afraid. Knowing gay/queer/lesbian/transgender people makes people become less afraid. Especially when so many of us are so damn likable.

There have been long years of fear of women and people of color having rights and a claim to power. Imagining all people sharing power and sharing equal rights has always been a revolutionary act. And it's a revolution we've steadily been winning. Tuesday night we won a
crucial battle and I am choosing to believe that victory is in sight. The slave owners who started the American revolution cast a spell with their words;

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness..."

That spell led to Obama being our president...it will lead to equal rights for the LGBT community. Obama cast his own spell by saying "gay and straight" in his speech. Our words hold power. What we spell out is certainly a spell. We shall overcome. Yes, we can.

I am choosing to believe that the losses in California, Arizona, and Arkansas will bring victory sooner than later. The absurdity of taking away our right to marry, the obscenity of passing laws that won't let us adopt because we can't marry, makes it perfectly clear in that we need federal protection of our rights. Discriminating against us is unconstitutional. Before Coretta Scott King died, she clearly stated that gay rights is a civil rights issue. Because, it is.

I choose to believe that soon, that even the churches/temples will change because it will no longer make sense to most people that their Creator would not give the same unalienable rights to the children they love. My ex's mother left the Morman church when her daughter
came out, because the fear of gays no longer made sense. Coming out changes the face of culture, and we are in the throes of change.

The truth is self evident. The American Revolution is not over yet.

On Tuesday night, I once again became proud to be part of it.