leaving the dead behind

My pledge at Brigid was to know the difference between what was dead and what was living and to put my energy into the living. A week ago or so I couldn't for the life/death of me remember my pledge. A few days ago, while soaking in the beauty of this glorious spring in San Francisco, it flew back into memory. The rains of winter have given way to the green of spring. The glory of new life is everywhere, in the blossoms, in the buds, in the fragrant air. Spring equinox is within the week.

My friend and neighbor Moj is Iranian-American. She celebrates the Persian new year at spring equinox. Tonight the cleansing for the new year begins by jumping a fire (so very like my own tradition of jumping the fire at Beltane) and consciously leaving behind what you don't want to take into the new year. My son and housemates will be going over to her house soon to join in this rite. Unfortunately I will miss it, being at work. But I've spent the day musing on this moment in time, and on my pledge to Brigid, the triple Goddess so important to my tradition.

Brigid has for many years now served as an intermediary for me with both the Fey and the Feri energy. Years ago I learned to call on her when I felt the particular fierce energies I associate with both. She is a mitigating force, helping me keep my compassion and grounding me in my humanity. In the Reclaiming tradition she is much loved. Of all our deities, she has to be the one most widely worked with, as we even call one of our sabbats after her - Feb. 2nd, what other call Imbolc or Candlemas, we call Brigid. I believe she is an important part of blending reclaiming and Feri, an important part in Reclaiming Feri. She is the movement into spring, into life returning - she pushes us towards healing, towards poetry and coming out of the fire stronger.

Having experienced so much death as a young adult, I have had a long history of trying to keep things alive, even things that should be allowed to die. Attempting relentlessly to resuscitate the dead is something I am well familiar with. I find it almost impossible to walk away from what and who I have loved - even when that love is clearly for something long gone. The last several months I have been forced to confront this, and to face how debilitating it has been for me. Today I breathe into my pledge and walk towards the equinox, the turning of the wheel, leaving behind things I have loved, have held dear, but have had to face are dead (even if not buried ) and walk into and towards life. It is everywhere.