Wednesday, May 30, 2018

what is remembered

In the past week, a week I've been missing writing, two different people told me they had read this blog and wondered why I didn't keep writing. The second person, someone new (several years) to Reclaiming, the spiritual "community" that I was part of for the bulk of my life,  asked me questions that continue to be hard to answer. As I lay in bed last night I thought about what I wrote to that community's email forum back in 2016 and  knew I should post it here. It does not include, of course, the hubbub.  I knew that, as per usual, naming the elephant would bring castigation on my head. And of course, it did. I was accused of getting into other people's personal business, of once again gossiping about something that was not mine to talk about. What really should be saved for history is the reaction to articles and posts I wrote over the decades in Reclaiming. They, to tell the truth, are the real story. They are hard to explain, to fathom. Readers not entrenched in the energetic field of Bay Area Reclaiming can't understand why the strong reaction, why me writing about my experience and thoughts were (are) so threatening. What I wrote below was publicly denounced. And, as per usual, the public denouncements were balanced by double the private emails and calls of support and gratitude. How to explain this to someone new to the community, or someone outside it? I can't, really.  So, here, for the record, what just might be my swan song in Reclaiming. 



Charlie Murphy, songwriter, singer and activist,
died on August 6th, 2016.  Charlie was an important and beautiful
voice in the burgeoning Pagan and movement of the
1980’s.  His work elegantly blended Pagan and Queer
themes. When I listen to his album “Catch the Fire” I
remember what it was like to be a San Franciscan Pagan while
an epidemic raged and our magic and action was required. His
song “The Burning Times” is as close as we come to
having a Pagan anthem.  What is remembered, lives!  Long
live, Charlie Murphy!


His death has me also remembering the decades of
merriment and magic that centered on the Black Cat house,
home and shelter to so many Pagans and activists over the
years.  One of my best memories of both Charlie and the
Black Cat was on the occasion of Starhawk’s 40th birthday
in 1991.  The house thrummed with possibility, joy and
power.  I was pregnant with my one and only child and
remember singing a quiet private song about this being
exactly the right circle of folks to be born
into. 


And it was the right place for so many things
for so many years.  The Black Cat was the epicenter of the
Reclaiming community.  What happened there impacted and
sometimes shook the rest of the community. Initiations,
meetings, mediations, truth or dare games, relationships
that began (or ended) at one of the legendary parties, for
decades what happened at Black Cat influenced what happened
in the larger Reclaiming world. 


And now, something is again happening that is
impacting Reclaiming, or at least our local community. The
last of the original members, other than Starhawk, of the
Black Cat are leaving.  What happens to the house is not
certain. There is a cornucopia of stories, whispered,
implied on Facebook or list messages, talked about at
gatherings, and murmured at meetings about the dissolution
of the household. It’s not my place to tell the stories
I’ve heard or explore the whys and wherefores of what has
happened.  I hope that at some point this can be done by
the participants in the spirit of healing… for I firmly
believe that what happens not only at Black Cat, but in our
personal lives, impacts all the lives. To be a Witch means
to make meaning of our personal lives and ask each day, if
life were a dream, what does this mean?  I hope and trust
this will eventually happen. 


As many of you know, I think a lot about gossip
and how it serves and disserves community. There is a lot of
gossip now about Black Cat. It’s reached a point that it
is not serving community anymore unless we openly
acknowledge it.  I stepped out of that role consciously
years back. I step back into it now now as I mourn the
demise of Black Cat and the hopes and ideals that were
imbedded in it.  Everything comes to an end.  Every life,
every relationship, every household. It is part of my
spiritual path to honor those endings and remember what was
beautiful and good in the flourishing. 


I call on those who have done the following in
the Black Cat House: initiated others and/or been initiated
,who met in coven or circles who did ritual there, who
attended meetings or classes, who went to parties or sabbat
celebrations, who are friends and family to any who lived
there.  I call on you to remember the good times, the times
that brought out the best of us, the times we worked
together, the times we knew we were working magic within
those walls that would impact all the worlds.



I am sure it did.  What is remembered, lives.
Long live the Black Cat House. 


And I give my love and  support for a either a
new vision or a letting go.  More than anything, I honor
the decades of magic done in that dwelling. It is part of my
own personal history and the history of the Reclaiming
Tradition. 


Long live the Black Cat!!


Love,Deborah Oak

4 comments:

Maggie said...

Thanks for this.

In many ways, those of us whose only contact with Reclaiming was far from San Francisco never knew, and have no right to, the stories connected with the Black Cat. But it is still good to read that there WAS such a place.

May all who knew it well be blessed by their knowing.

deborahoak said...

Maggie, thank you for this. And actually you do have a right to know the stories if some of us want to tell them! They are idealized in Star's writing (The Black Dragon House) and there was a time when that house, even though I did not live there, was a center of my life. Every Monday my coven met there and some of the pivotal moments in my spiritual journey happened in that attic. Recently I was part of priestessing Starhawk's croning and that house was buzzing again with magic. I was happy to see it and feel it in it's new incarnation.

Wes said...

Thank you, Deborah Oak! I remember seeing some of the hubbub at the time and appreciate you posting this here. It is good to know the history of place (and all that entails) for my chosen community.

Much Love and Respect,

Wes

~ p.s. So good to see you writing again! Please, if it feels right for you, give us more soon.

Beau said...

Please keep writing. ❤️