realignment

My friend Fern, who among her many talents is an excellent body worker, has been on me for quite awhile to go to her chiropractor. She’s insisted that my lower back is out of whack in a way that can’t be addressed with massage. I’ve resisted, for unclear reasons. I suppose it just wasn’t time.

Last week I was ready for the changes realignment might bring and so I put myself into Eric’s hands, who turned out to be one of those intuitive healers the Bay Area is graced with. I came out of his office feeling the light headedness of big change. I had been “adjusted”.

So, this week my body has been struggling between accepting this realignment and going back to its old way of holding itself. Mind and spirit have followed suite. Letting go of old pain seems to be the theme, as well as accessing more energy. Thankfully, body, mind, and spirit seem to be united in an effort to settle into this new alignment, to be less constricted. It was time.

This week I exercised more than I have done in a year, swimming regularly again and riding my bike to work. It helps that my girlfriend just added me on to her membership at the swankiest gym in town. But, hey, who believes in coincidence?

My feelings of discomfort concerning Reclaiming, the spiritual tradition I’ve been associated with for over 25 years, also went thru a major readjustment. I joined a newly formed teacher’s guild about a year ago, and this past Sunday we offered a salon. Here’s the description:

What Are We Reclaiming? An Afternoon Salon
Join us in an afternoon salon in which we invoke the questioning
attitude in regards to Reclaiming. Is Reclaiming a tradition, a community, a
network, a cult, or all of the above? Does simply calling yourself a Reclaiming
Witch and saying you embrace the principles of unity make you a Reclaiming
Witch? What does it mean to embrace the principles of unity? What happens when
individuals and communities disagree on what that means? Reclaiming has
been around over two decades. Has some of what we set out to reclaim
been accomplished? If so, what is the intent of Reclaiming now?

These questions didn’t get answered, but there was magic in the asking, Other than checking in and introducing ourselves and giving a little bit of our history in regards to Reclaiming, we only got as far as discussing the difference between a community and a tradition, throwing out words and concepts we associated with both, and then naming what we individually found most important and also what we offer to community and tradition. What seemed important was that there was a space for questions to be asked, for dialogue to ensue. It was noted by one person that Reclaiming classes and the witchcamp culture have gotten better at eliciting feedback, but not dialogue. Rich dialogue was what was being invoked and invited here. With dialogue, I breathe easier.

Two women other than guild members stated that one of their gifts to community and tradition is a social and political analysis. Yes. Thank the Goddess. The impasse I’ve had with local Reclaiming is that those who apply this to the community and tradition have been perceived and proclaimed by several long-time priestesses as attacking others and having personal problems. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that no matter how many times you say you have a problem with the structure, not the people in the structure, and it continues to be framed as personal, eventually it will not only be a problem with the structure you have, but with the people. When both occur, working together becomes insufferable at best, toxic and twisted at worst.

As my lower back releases, so does the mighty twist I’ve been in for years. Was it the questions that drew those to the salon who were skilled at and comfortable with looking beneath the surface of things? A non-profit consultant, an anthropologist, and a psychiatrist were among the many thoughtful folks who filled the room. As the afternoon went on, I found myself settling into something I had not felt locally in ages. I felt pride in my tradition and good about being in a community of folks who were part of my tradition. Although I’ve been teaching for the past many years and drawing students I respect, its been ages since I’ve been in a circle of , outside of my friends and guild members, “wider community” where I felt energized and intellectually and spiritually challenged. I’ve gotten this in other places, notably last year at Spiralheart and before that in England with the Avalon community. But not in the Bay Area. Sunday, that changed.

Today I’ll go swimming again, and probably post the date of our next salon on several Reclaiming lists, which happens to be Sunday, May 20^th. The twist in my back is releasing, and I’m learning to hold myself in another way. It’s time I trust that support is there to hold me up. This week, I find myself buoyant.