branches up, roots down

Two years ago I spent summer solstice sobbing my eyes out, cursing the long days and short sleepless nights. At the height of the sun’s power, all that was illuminated was the pain of an unexpected break-up. The pie chart of my brain and being was primarily devoted to obsessive thought about my loss, my heart chakra was blown wide open, and I was tender and raw. I was completely miserable. This summer solstice I once again found myself distracted, preoccupied, and unable to sleep, deep in obsessive thoughts, raw, tender and heart wide open. This solstice, however, I’m happy. Ecstatic, really. Such is the power of love. And such is the risk of love. My current state can lead directly to the former state. In the last two weeks I’ve devised countless strategies to “slow it down”, trying to keep some cool remove and clinical detachment. I’m a therapist and know too much about both the chemistry of love and the way we can fall for someone to learn yet another hideous lesson ...

In the morning, after I’ve fixed myself a cup of coffee, I’ve begun to take it upstairs to my rooftop deck, a place which affords a spacious view of my beloved city. Years ago a friend told me it was too exposed and windy to grow things, and I believed her. What was that about? How many times have I heeded bad advice and stopped some potential garden from blooming? For it’s a veritable garden that now flourishes on my deck, fragrant and lush. Orange and lemon trees, lavender, rosemary, jasmine, sage and rose are spreading their roots and bursting out of the pots I’ve planted them in. I can’t remember the day or circumstance when I decided to follow my own instinct, but it happened a few months back. I started buying plants for the deck and assuming they would survive. They have. In fact, they are thriving. Maybe it has to do with the house being opened up, with walls coming down and energy moving. Maybe some part of me is ready to be fully alive and vibrant and on...

In these strange and wild times there is much talk of the apocalypse and Armageddon. With climate change, terrorism, and the threat of nuclear catastrophe, there are countless ways we are expecting something cataclysmic to occur. More than a year or so ago, I had one of those discussions with friends where you predict the day or time that the big change will occur. Somewhere in that discussion, somebody seized on the idea that we soon would land on the date of 666, the number of the beast, of evil, of all that we fear. Today was that day, and given that discussion, along with the aggressive advertising campaign for the remake of The Omen , part of me has been emotionally preparing for something monumental to occur on this day. Although I’m no believer in the bible’s prophecies, as a witch I give great credence to people's beliefs painting the palette of reality. Awhile back, I figured that June 6 th , 2006 would be a day which packed some kind of punch. This mornin...