jeremy crosses over

Last night, just after sunset, as the newly full moon began to glow, my friend Jeremy Paster crossed over. Crows surrounded the house a half hour or so before, cawing and calling out. I have no doubt they assisted in his spirit finding wings to leave.

Jeremy had been battling cancer for the last year and a half with all the loving energy any person could summon. I continue to have trouble with the whole "warrior" term, feeling uncomfortable with the war part that it invokes and I find myself struggling to find the right term to describe my friend. Jeremy was fiercely gentle, sturdily peaceful, and stalwart in summoning compassion in the hardest of circumstances. I met Jeremy in the course of organizing for the action in Seattle around the WTO. In the maelstorm that Seattle became, Jeremy was a touchstone of calmness.

Before being diagnosed with cancer, he had worked on many, many, many fronts imagining and taking action to create a world where love is the law. He ran medicine to the Karen people in Burma, worked to help the U'Wa in Ecuador fight big oil, and softened loggers anger as he strove to save ancient forests in Alaska, all the while weaving together a community of people who loved and admired him.

It's time to create a new word to describe those like Jeremy. "Loveior" or "Fierce Mystic"? I don't know, but I'm feeling strongly we need new language. "Warrior" and 'battling" and "fighting".....these aren't words that describe Jeremy and the energy he put to his actions. He didn't really work "against" anything, but had the ability to work in service of the life force in a way that stood out amongst our activist friends. He put his shoulder to the task of loving this earth with a verve that will rarely be matched. His dying had so much life force and love force in it that it is hard to believe he is really gone. Diagnosed with cancer, he created a foundation - Healing the Roots - which will aid and assist other activists who fall ill or are injured.

A month ago, I sat crying as I watched Jeremy walk to the podium at the Rainforest Action Award Dinner to receive a lifetime achievement award. Receiving the award in person was a testament not only to Jeremy's achievements, but to our community's skill at doing direct action mixed with magic. Jeremy had been "broken out" of the hospital. It was a 45 minute tight caper to get out and back without being missed. Surgery on his spine had happened on Tuesday, and he received the award Thursday night. All of the audience knew we were witnessing a miracle.

Two weeks ago, we gathered around him for what he termed a "living wake". He wanted to hear what we had to say about him while he was alive and he wanted to assure us all that we'd still be connected, that his spirit had no intention of dying. He summoned the strength to be there and to give us comfort even as we were grieving. We called in the names of those we loved on the other side and asked them to prepare to greet Jeremy when he crossed over. The air thickened, and I trust that Jeremy is now being feted by all those who came close two weeks ago. Jeremy said he would communicate to us in dreamtime, and that already is proving to be true.

Today I spent the afternoon at a houseboat in Sausalito with Jeremy's wife, mother, and other assorted family and friends. More than one recounted a powerful dream involving Jeremy that had come to them this week. The messages were all similar. He is alright with dying and wants us to know that. He will be helping us from the other side. The stories flowed today, and they will keep flowing. There was laughter, and of course there were tears. Above all else, there was gratitude.

Some are calling him a mighty warrior. All of us who knew him understand that he was a mighty agent of change. Someday the right word might emerge, one that describes the energetic akido master that he was and still continues to be. Maybe he'll even whisper it to one of us in our dreams.

What is remembered lives.

Long live Jeremy Paster.