tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-110367282024-03-23T10:53:42.210-07:00branches up, roots downRow, row, row your boat,
gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dreamUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger305125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-15496824285579027302019-04-30T22:07:00.001-07:002019-04-30T22:07:50.247-07:00Wave Goodbye To The PatriarchyI'm devoted to blogging again. This time on a website I created about my art. WaveGoodbyeToThePatriarchy.com Check it out and tell me what you think. Doing this on Beltane is a spell for the life force. May we defend the sacred. May we wave goodbye to the patriarchy. May we veer steadily towards kindness.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-86972566112025017432018-05-30T07:45:00.000-07:002018-05-30T07:45:49.581-07:00what is remembered<span style="font-size: large;">In the past week, a week I've been missing writing, two different people told me they had read this blog and wondered why I didn't keep writing. The second person, someone new (several years) to Reclaiming, the spiritual "community" that I was part of for the bulk of my life, asked me questions that continue to be hard to answer. As I lay in bed last night I thought about what I wrote to that community's email forum back in 2016 and knew I should post it here. It does not include, of course, the hubbub. I knew that, as per usual, naming the elephant would bring castigation on my head. And of course, it did. I was accused of getting into other people's personal business, of once again gossiping about something that was not mine to talk about. What really should be saved for history is the reaction to articles and posts I wrote over the decades in Reclaiming. They, to tell the truth, are the real story. They are hard to explain, to fathom. Readers not entrenched in the energetic field of Bay Area Reclaiming can't understand why the strong reaction, why me writing about my experience and thoughts were (are) so threatening. What I wrote below was publicly denounced. And, as per usual, the public denouncements were balanced by double the private emails and calls of support and gratitude. How to explain this to someone new to the community, or someone outside it? I can't, really. So, here, for the record, what just might be my swan song in Reclaiming. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Charlie Murphy, songwriter, singer
and activist,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">died on August 6<sup>th</sup>,
2016. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Charlie was an important and
beautiful<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">voice in the burgeoning Pagan and
movement of the<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">1980’s. His work elegantly
blended Pagan and Queer<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">themes. When I listen to his album
“Catch the Fire” I<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">remember what it was like to be a
San Franciscan Pagan while<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">an epidemic raged and our magic and
action was required. His<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">song “The Burning Times” is as
close as we come to<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">having a Pagan anthem. What
is remembered, lives! Long<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">live, Charlie Murphy!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">His death has me also remembering
the decades of<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">merriment and magic that centered
on the Black Cat house,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">home and shelter to so many Pagans
and activists over the<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">years. One of my best
memories of both Charlie and the<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Black Cat was on the occasion of
Starhawk’s 40th birthday<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">in 1991. The house thrummed
with possibility, joy and<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">power. I was pregnant with my
one and only child and<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">remember singing a quiet private
song about this being<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">exactly the right circle of folks
to be born<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">into. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">And it was the right place for so
many things<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">for so many years. The Black
Cat was the epicenter of the<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Reclaiming community. What
happened there impacted and<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">sometimes shook the rest of the
community. Initiations,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">meetings, mediations, truth or dare
games, relationships<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">that began (or ended) at one of the
legendary parties, for<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">decades what happened at Black Cat
influenced what happened<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">in the larger Reclaiming
world. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">And now, something is again
happening that is<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">impacting Reclaiming, or at least
our local community. The<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">last of the original members, other
than Starhawk, of the<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Black Cat are leaving. What
happens to the house is not<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">certain. There is a cornucopia of
stories, whispered,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">implied on Facebook or list
messages, talked about at<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">gatherings, and murmured at
meetings about the dissolution<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">of the household. It’s not my place
to tell the stories<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve heard or explore the whys and
wherefores of what has<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">happened. I hope that at some
point this can be done by<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">the participants in the spirit of
healing… for I firmly<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">believe that what happens not only
at Black Cat, but in our<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">personal lives, impacts all the
lives. To be a Witch means<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">to make meaning of our personal
lives and ask each day, if<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">life were a dream, what does this
mean? I hope and trust<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">this will eventually happen. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">As many of you know, I think a lot
about gossip<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">and how it serves and disserves
community. There is a lot of<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">gossip now about Black Cat. It’s
reached a point that it<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">is not serving community anymore
unless we openly<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">acknowledge it. I stepped out
of that role consciously<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">years back. I step back into it now
now as I mourn the<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">demise of Black Cat and the hopes
and ideals that were<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">imbedded in it. Everything
comes to an end. Every life,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">every relationship, every
household. It is part of my<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">spiritual path to honor those
endings and remember what was<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">beautiful and good in the
flourishing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">I call on those who have done the
following in<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">the Black Cat House: initiated others
and/or been initiated<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">,who met in coven or circles who
did ritual there, who<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">attended meetings or classes, who
went to parties or sabbat<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">celebrations, who are friends and
family to any who lived<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">there. I call on you to
remember the good times, the times<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">that brought out the best of us,
the times we worked<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">together, the times we knew we were
working magic within<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">those walls that would impact all
the worlds.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am sure it did. What is
remembered, lives.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Long live the Black Cat
House. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">And I give my love and
support for a either a<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">new vision or a letting go.
More than anything, I honor<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">the decades of magic done in that
dwelling. It is part of my<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">own personal history and the
history of the Reclaiming<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tradition. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Long live the Black Cat!!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>565</o:Words>
<o:Characters>3224</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Gaylesta</o:Company>
<o:Lines>26</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>7</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>3782</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;">Love,Deborah Oak</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-68170470007800969702015-06-13T15:56:00.002-07:002015-06-13T16:01:59.876-07:00A Bowl of Cherries<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">I
go religiously to the Alemany Farmer’s Market on Saturdays. I’ve been going for
decades now. Farmer’s markets have sprung up all over the city, but I am
faithful to Alemany. It now has it’s share of “foodies”, of which I have to be
one of the first, but it remains wildly diverse, a relic of the San Francisco I
refuse to let go of. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">I’ve
been a Pagan since my early twenties. It was then, after my father’s suicide
and the death a beloved cousin, that I moved to a small town on the Oregon
coast. Recognizing the cycles of the moon and the turning of the tides became a
lifeline as I moved through the shadowland of grief. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I got sturdier, I moved to San
Francisco.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been here that for most
of my adult life I celebrated the turn of the wheel at public rituals. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">The
days of public ritual are past, but the farmer’s market remains. Here, I
celebrate the first asparagus and rejoice during the brief weeks that
asparagus, fava beans, and cherries are all in season. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Winter means root vegetables, Napa cabbage and
empty booths. The woman who sells zucchini, summer squash and berries also
sells sweet peas in early summer, replaced by sunflowers later on. The cycle of
the earth around the sun is marked by the bounty of the earth through the
changing seasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">Last
Saturday was no different. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A close
friend had surgery on Friday and our fears were confirmed that she has ovarian
cancer. She had a ticket to fly to Italy that Saturday, the first trip to Europe in her
lifetime. Instead, she is in the hospital trying to fart so she can eat
something other than broth and jello. I was going to see her on Sunday and my quest was to bring her a bouquet of fresh flowers and to get my usual provisions
for the week. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">So, I
move through the market, collecting delphiniums sweet peas and roses. I’m happy
to see there is still spring garlic to buy and notice there is no longer a fava
bean to be found. And then I go to the booth on the southwest corner where I
get cherries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">Picking
through the boxes of ripe cherries a man next to me says to the farmer “Is
this the last of them?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This startles
me. Cherries have come early this year, I think because of the drought. But I
expect them to last through June and into July.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Next week will be the last, most likely, so get your fill”, says the
farmer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">And
I lose it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which seems to be happening a
lot these days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say “NO!” with more
emotion than anyone around me is prepared for and the tears start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am blubbering and saying I am sorry, my
good friend has cancer<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and I can’t stand
that it is the end of cherry season. Then the guy next to me and the farmer get
embarrassed and kind all at the same time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are lots of “I am sorry” and while that
is happening I somehow buy 20 bucks worth of cherries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">Life
is indeed bowl of cherries. Sweet, lush, and only here for a short time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go home
and make a cherry clafouti for dessert that night and put the flowers on my
altar to charge up for the hospital visit the next day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>483</o:Words>
<o:Characters>2754</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Gaylesta</o:Company>
<o:Lines>22</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>3231</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'American Typewriter';">What
can we do but honor the place we are on
the wheel and fully taste it? And in the
tasting, to be mindful that some are living on broth and jello. My dear friend
doesn’t fart until sometime Wednesday. And, there’s a huge bag of pitted
cherries in the freezer with her name on it. <span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-22134033090591146492015-05-21T21:05:00.000-07:002015-05-21T21:21:05.955-07:00Unusual Alchemy<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1791491579 18 0 131231 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"American Typewriter";
panose-1:2 9 6 4 2 0 4 2 3 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-1610612625 25 0 0 273 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“It's
a highly unusual May.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The nature guide
repeats this phrase several times during our excursion near Ketchikan. Most
of the clothes packed for this trip up Alaska's inner passage have gone unworn
- no need for the wool sweaters, down vest, or fleece jacket. It's t-shirt and
flip-flop weather.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bald
eagles soar overhead, waterfalls tumble down granite cliffs into the glittering
sea, otters and seals scamper wetly, and every shade of green seems
represented. The beauty of this balmy day is indisputable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Enjoy it while we can. It's a familiar feeling now, this mix of primal joy for
the sunny clear day and abstract terror of what it signifies. I live in San
Francisco, where the occasional fog keeps up a semblance of green in a state of
aching drought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the sunny days
in San Francisco are increasing. More of our days have become like this one, on
the small boat steering along the coast of the Alaskan Tongas Rainforest with
the sun shining brightly.<br />
<br />
I turned sixty this year and this trip is a gift from the woman I've been
dating for two years. Oh, who am I kidding? We are in a relationship. It’s only
recently that I cleaned out a drawer for her in my home. To take this amount of
time for that is highly unusual for lesbians, where the well-known joke of
bringing a U-Haul to a second date is all too true. Oh, who am I kidding? That’s
been true for me with both men and women. It’s taken me over 40 years to learn
that having good sex and good conversation does not mean you should move
in together. You aren’t seeing clearly when you are on the drug of new sex and
good conversation. It takes time to ascertain if you both can veer towards
kindness in a somewhat consistent fashion while not losing a sense of humor and desire.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
I've tried going slow, warding off my not so abstract terror of where this
relationship could lead, (heartbreak, craziness, loss of self, boredom -I've
experienced them all) while applying myself to the task of loving and
being loved, which does not mean merging bank accounts or merging - period.<br />
<br />
That work led to gratefully accepting the gift of a week's vacation together on
a lesbian cruise ship. Which led to this day excursion where there is
something in the guide's voice, an awareness and a foreshadowing he's
communicating that raises my minor body hair, sets my sixth sense abuzz,
and brings about an alchemical reaction. Alchemy as defined as “a seemingly magical
process of transformation, creation, or combination.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It's
such a glorious day, to not feel the joy of it feels like a sacrilege, like dissing
the life force herself. There’s so much beauty around me and also such clear awareness
of things changing, like the climate, that I feel my heart is going to explode
or break, it’s expanding so much with combined feelings. How can I feel such joy when this day is not only unusual, it's a harbinger of possible doom? At that moment,
the terror is no longer abstract and it’s more than fear - it’s grief, rage and
sorrow. And it is inexplicably mixed with ecstatic joy. So, I breathe deeply, try not to sob,scream or laugh uncontrollably and thankfully I manage
to discretely quake and let tears flow without notice. Standing against the rail of the boat, I reach
for the hand of the woman who gifted me with this adventure and then someone points
out yet another Bald Eagle in flight. And I smile.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
don’t need a photo of that moment, it etched in memory and fully embodied. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The combined feelings of awe and gratitude at the enormous gift of the complexity of life forms on this planet, mixed with the keening awareness of moving
steadily into this unusual time where all bets are off and I will never be sure
what to pack has transformed into one precious verb. It’s alchemy and it’s
magic. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Its
name is love. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-88991293015485293082014-02-02T10:36:00.003-08:002014-02-02T10:36:56.803-08:00Brigid Poetry Fest in Cyperspace<span class="userContent"></span><br />
<div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" id="id_52ee8fb94d0170d23602848">
Waiting<br /> <br /> We wait<br /> Patiently, not so patiently<span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> We wait<br /> Worried, praying, distracted<br /> Waiting<br /> <br /> Not for Spring<br /> Who bursts thru the door uninvited<br /> With her hyacinths, daffodils and blossoms<br /> We wait <br /> <br /> For You<br /> To drench the earth<br /> To fill the reservoirs and streams<br /> To greet the salmon<br /> Waiting off the coast<br /> To give the bears a reason to sleep<br /> <br /> Rain.<br /> Here you are, at last!!<br /> Please stay awhile,<br /> Okay?</span></div>
<br />
<div class="photoUnit clearfix">
<div class="_53s uiScaledThumb photo photoWidth1" data-ft="{"tn":"E"}" data-gt="{"fbid":"10152228876059434"}">
<a class="_6i9" href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152228876059434&set=a.308152129433.179974.696954433&type=1&relevant_count=1" rel="theater"><div class="uiScaledImageContainer photoWrap">
<img alt="Photo: My Poem for the 9th Annual February 2nd Poetry Fest in Cyberspace. And the pic is Brigid in my backyard who is celebrating the RAIN!!!!
Waiting
We wait
Patiently, not so patiently
We wait
Worried, praying, distracted
Waiting
Not for Spring
Who bursts thru the door uninvited
With her hyacinths, daffodils and blossoms
We wait
For You
To drench the earth
To fill the reservoirs and streams
To greet the salmon
Waiting off the coast
To give the bears a reason to sleep
Rain.
Here you are, at last!!
Please stay awhile,
Okay?" class="scaledImageFitWidth img" height="672" src="https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/p480x480/1554614_10152228876059434_344223057_n.jpg" style="top: -32px;" width="504" /></div>
</a></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-46122372358743531282012-11-22T06:12:00.000-08:002012-11-22T06:17:59.990-08:00heart swells<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>876</o:Words>
<o:Characters>4997</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Gaylesta</o:Company>
<o:Lines>41</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>11</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>5862</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are in Mexico. We is myself, my sister, and my
brother-in-law. He has never been out of the country. My sister and I have.
Many times. We went to Canada and to Mexico with our parents as children and at
15, I traveled with my sister, 3 years younger, throughout Europe for six weeks
on our own. And I do mean on our own. But that is a story for another
time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This story is about being here in Mexico and about
gratitude. It turns out this week is the week of the Mexican Revolution. I was
happy to fly out of San Francisco. I love my city but it has has been a party that will not end
for weeks. The city has been crowded with celebrations for the The Giants,
Halloween, Day of the Dead, and the exhaustive re-election. The City and I are
weary with gratitude for all the wins and the dead working with us. Victory is exhausting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We arrive to Puerto
Vallarta to find it also on a bender, flooded with folks from Guadalajara.
Warmer shores are something all people tend to head for, especially during a
national holiday. Between the Americans
fleeing Thanksgiving and the Mexicans on
vacation, the town is jammed. Perhaps
this is the reason our reservation has been lost or mistakenly given to someone
else. After some time at the reservation counter we end up in what has to be
the best room at the resort. We have three bathrooms, a kitchen , a view to die
for and the beach is our front yard. Waves of gratitude for fortitudinous
mistakes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Years back, seeking warmer shores, visitors to Puerto
Vallarta had to gird themselves against an army of small bright eyed children
selling Chiclets. Even those who never had and never would chew gum had to
buy. To do otherwise would be cold
hearted. And good vacations by their nature entail the heart swelling or
stretching. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There no longer is an army of children selling Chiclets.
That army has been replaced by an army of young men and women with bright white
Chiclet like teeth, offering vacation sweeteners and asking only in return that you come to a
presentation. Time share presentations. Do you want a spa day and massage , a
jungle tour, a bay cruise,, a hundred dollars off your car rental, a bottle of
tequila, a feast on an island? This can
be arranged. You just have to give 90
minutes of your time and take a tour of fabulous property… breakfast buffet and
day pass included.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I steered sister and brother-in law past the gauntlet of
Chiclet teethed young people at the airport, only to lose them when I was
renting a car. They took up conversing with what they thought to be one of the
rental agents. Next thing I knew they had us signed up for “Rhythm’s of the
Night” – a boat trip to islands and a dinner and show and $150 was coming off
our car rental. All this merely for using a day pass to a swanky resort. A day
pass because I said absolutely no to a time share presentation. I said it many
many times and the Chiclets flashed and the head bobbed and bobbed in
reassurance. Just a day pass. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then, things changed. It’s hard to say no, jobs depend
on it, please just go along with it, it will be fine, my boss will be mad at
me. So we end up far from our old fashioned small time resort where you walk
right out to the beach and we drive down the road to Nuevo Vallarta to the sky scrapers where they compare the
grandeur to Dubai and indoor ice skating and
swimming with dolphins and show you the site the traditional Mexican
village is going to be put in and Disney will be there too. And Casinos. The
Chiclets are being flashed like crazy and you can see the edgy greed in the
tourists eyes, being offered a taste of living like the 1% , high in
skyscrapers with an oceanviews and jacuzzi’s on the deck., able to order up
anything they desire. Margaritas, beach cabanas, golf, private massage. Because
there is always more and more to be had and to be added. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am honest, firm, but kind, and it gets us nowhere. We are
caught in a play of many acts, and all must be seen out. We are passed from one
sales person to the next. I get told I am only the second person who does not
like the place. My sister says she does
not like caged dolphins. We don’t mention the fake Mexican Village. That is just too painful.
Hours later we are let go, but not without one last pitch involving many black
rectangles drawn on paper showing for just a thousand or so a year, we could be
part of this development, swimming with dolphins and having buffet breakfasts
to die for. Having everything we could ever desire.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is some truth in that if we can afford a vacation, we
must be able to buy both Chiclets and time shares . We can fly easily across
the border, even with my sister’s dog chewed passport. The sales people cannot.
They press for us to buy, to help, for us to all share in the dream of doing
better and having more. And, none can seem to really believe it is not what we
want, this dream of being in Dubai which is really the dream of being on any desert
that now is anything else you want it to
be because there is lots of money.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We escape, and drive to an actual Mexican fishing village up
the coast. We get a table on the sand and order guacamole and chips and I get
some skewers of shrimp from a passing vendor.. Children come to our table
offering small stuffed animals. My sister buys one. Then she buys some coconut
macaroons. We are happy and relieved to be buying things we understand and can
taste and touch. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write this back at my Villa del Palmar, on my beach chair.
My brother-in-law watched the news last night and we learned about the big
storm hitting the Northwest coast and
the escalation in the Middle East. Who knows what will stay and what will
remain in the coming decade.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I look around, feel the ocean breeze and the waves lappng
the sand just a few feet from me. Life is so sweet as it is. I am grateful to
be here. Now. And happy to have exactly
what I have. Which is a lot and more than most. My heart stretches in thanks.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-41723366813864254042012-09-30T20:45:00.001-07:002012-09-30T20:49:45.227-07:00Harvest TimeLast night I danced my patootie off under the big harvest moon, celebrating the hand fasting of two dear queer Pagan friends. In my hurry to dress and beautify for the event, I'd left my cell phone at home. Some mistakes are gifts. The gift of being without my phone left me able to be fully present. If I'd brought it, I'd have been checking it persistently, as this weekend was the deadline for Governor Brown to sign or veto <a href="http://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billNavClient.xhtml?bill_id=201120120SB1172">the bill</a> I've been working on for about two years.<br />
<br />
The hand fasting was juicy love magic. My rag tag Pagan community was dressed to the nines and tens, as only Pagans can dress. Sequins, feathers, and glitter abounded, and Pagans and other family and friends all glowed with happiness. Love is something to celebrate. Commitment is something to honor. These two woman have been together for almost a decade, and it was perfect timing for this particular spell. The setting was exquisite, high on a bluff at Fort Mason, overlooking our beautiful bay. We feasted and drank and toasted to love for hours. And danced.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://ebar.com/blogs/?p=4859">Meanwhile, the Governor was signing SB1172 into law</a>. It is now illegal in California for therapists to "treat" minors for being gay or gender queer. This legislation is landmark, the first in the land. And, it is already spreading. A similar bill has been proposed in New Jersey, and LGBT activists are now fighting for this nationwide.<br />
<br />
I am proud. Two years ago I became a Board member for <a href="http://Gaylesta.org/">Gaylesta</a>, the biggest and first LGBTQ psychotherapy association in the country. I came on as the chair of the new advocacy committee, and last year became Co-President. After years of activism in anarchist groups, I have learned a new way of activism, and also deepened my understanding of leadership. Legislative politics doesn't have the same panache as direct action politics, but it certainly can be as powerful. Gaylesta, a volunteer associaton, was instrumental in getting this bill both created and passed. I've always believed that being a therapist was being an agent of change and my work with Gaylesta has proved to be integrative. Being an activist within my profession is satisfying. Good therapy can save lives. Bad therapy can destroy them.<br />
<br />
Today, the world just got a little safer for LGBTQ youth.<br />
<br />
Last night I dance to Lady Gaga singing Born This Way amidst the group of Pagan teens I've known since birth, some queer, probably many questioning, but all secure in knowing their community will celebrate however they choose to love and however they identify. This morning I spent planting bulbs in my garden, throwing the line of celebration into the spring. Sometime in the future tulips, hyacinths, and daffodils will bloom in my backyard, reminding me of what it means to plant and work towards a better future. And what it means to dance.<br />
<br />
Which really does have to be part of any good revolution.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-38401688213771439552012-09-02T22:38:00.000-07:002012-09-08T10:17:19.541-07:00sticks and stones<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>545</o:Words>
<o:Characters>3109</o:Characters>
<o:Company>fool's journey</o:Company>
<o:Lines>25</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>3818</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">“The Universe is made of stories, not of
atoms.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Muriel Rukeyser<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">The Universe is made of stories and each story
is made of words. And each word itself has a story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To name a thing is powerful, in itself a story
invocation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, as in most
invocations, we rarely are in control of what comes in and what magic it will
work and what story will unfold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Taking a new name as part of following a
spiritual path is nothing new. I would guess it is a cross-cultural experience,
an innately human part of trying to give voice and name the experience of
expanding consciousness, being reborn, and/or committing to a particular path. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">The name I was given at birth, Deborah, I
seized back after years of being Debbie. It was in itself a story changer,
moving me into adulthood and away from childhood. Only one person remains in my
life who calls me “Debbie”, the very person who named me Deborah; my mother.
Can you sense the story behind that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">There have been three other names I have gained
in this lifetime, all though initiatory processes. The first, Oak, I received
at my initiation into Reclaiming. Some people drop their old name completely
after this initiation, some, like me, use their magical name in Pagan circles
and keep their “given” name, and others just continue to go by their given name
publicly and keep their magical name private. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">The other two names I received at my
Feri initiations. These names are meant to remain only known amongst Feri
initiates. Feri is a tradition that works with the power/magic of naming things
and keeping the names close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most
people only have one Feri initiation; I have the strange story of having two.
This is a story best left for another day, but the gist of the matter is that
initiation two was an important redo of initiation one, which was rather
traumatizing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">And part of this, as I look back, was the name.
It has been there, working itself out through the years, right behind the Oak.
Oak has helped me stay grounded in what matters to me and been a mighty
protection during some frightful storms. The other name came in flash, pulled
not so much from the Divine as from my unconscious, although one can argue they
are one and the same. But the feel between receiving Oak and Rhiannon was
vastly different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All names, I
suppose, are both blessing and curse. And sometimes, a name, like Debbie and
Rhiannon, has to be let go of. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Yep, I said it. I am releasing the power of Rhiannon. I have been trying to do that for ten years or so, but keeping it secret, it did hold power. Now, publicly I announce it is no longer mine. And anyways, who needs two Feri names? The other
will remain, working it’s own story, holding its power, mixing with Oak and
Deborah into a potent but less painful blend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Rhiannon was mighty, but she got wrongly
accused of killing her baby and had to carry her community on her back like a
horse for punishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> As I was mulling about this name this week, </span>I received
an e-mail this week from George Franklin of the Reclaiming Quarterly. In it he justified my long
time column not <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>being on the
Reclaiming archive site because of the history of complaints from California
organizers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once
again I was accused of focusing on personal grievances in my column, and chastised for being a destructive force.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Thank Goddess I had just re-read them, or I
might have some self-doubt about eating that baby. Re-reading them, they seem rather tame. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I did not eat my baby. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m letting that story go for
good, in hope that this story has no charge now between the worlds, that it
can’t operate in the unconscious of the collective/community. George also said that the format of the website is getting changed - not because of my complaint - and eventually all the back issues will be available in their entirety, which will include my column. He made it clear if he had it his way, I'd still be written out of history. However, it appears the story is beginning to change. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Yes, it is. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I can feel a shift even
as I write this. There’s much more to write about the power of names. But this
is enough naming and story for now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Who knows what stories are working us behind
the scenes in magical communities with hidden names? How has your name impacted your story?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Sticks and stones might break bones,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">but names can change our story.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-5424601244279827372012-08-20T10:32:00.000-07:002013-08-20T15:59:51.698-07:00Why I Am Excluded from all the InclusionI went to Dandelion, the big Reclaiming gathering, being told there would be a pool. I love pools. I imagined
myself sunning and swimming and enjoying all the people I love (and I do love
many many Reclaiming Witches!) and avoiding most meetings.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://wearewalkinginbeauty.org/Walking_in_Beauty/Blog/Entries/2012/8/9_Reclaiming_Bakes_a_Bigger_Pie.html">An important intent of the gathering was to address changing the Principles of Unity,</a> principles I was part of creating, to be more inclusive and gender fluid. I trusted that this would turn out okay, and it did. I like the changes, and honor the hard work that went into creating them. <br />
<br />
I was reading<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1297165732"> David Richo's book, </a><i><a href="http://davericho.com/">The Five Things We Cannot Change</a>, </i>on the flight up to Portland. This proved to be incredibly helpful when I found out on arriving that there was no pool. One of the five givens is that things do not always go according to plan. The gift of that given is that this we can grow from dealing with the unexpected. I dealt with the bitter disappointment of no pool with maturity. I had good books, a nice chair, and the weather was beautiful. I also had read his book, How <i>To be an Adult in Faith and Spirituality.</i> I felt grounded and prepared for Dandelion and happy to see my friends.<br />
<br />
Soon after arriving, I went on a walk with <a href="http://besom.blogspot.com/">Macha</a> to look for the swimming hole. I quickly lost any interest in finding it. Macha immediantly rocked my roots by complaining about the waiver we had signed at registration. I hadn't really looked at what I signed, assuming it was some standard waiver releasing the organizers or hosts from being sued. According to Macha, I had instead signed away my right to talk about anything that happened at Dandelion. I had signed away my right to gossip. I found myself barking at her asking why in all the Gods names she signed it. Macha didn't have a good answer except she didn't want to make a fuss on coming in. I know the feeling, but there is no way in hell or heaven I could willingly sign my name to such a thing.<br />
<br />
Cult, much?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://branchesup.blogspot.com/search?q=good+dish">The gossip issue is an old one</a>. Paradoxically, I have been trashed in Reclaiming for being a gossip because I have spoken out so publicly on the dangers of secrets and keeping silent. Those who speak out openly and name group dysfunction, as in many dysfunctional groups, are often targeted as gossips, troublemakers, racists/classists/and or homophobes and yep, bullies. I am a psychotherapist, skilled at the uses of confidentiality. In my home community of Reclaiming, I have seen confidentiality invoked inappropriately to silence any talk of the elephant in the living room or to "make it safe" to say something horrible and even untrue about other community members. <br />
<br />
My heart sank at Macha's news. <br />
<br />
We walked back and I asked around until I found an organizer of the event to talk to. In true dreamlike fashion, her name was Serenity. A perfect name! <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer">The Serenity Prayer </a>has been instrumental in me detaching from dysfunctional struggles in my home community and accepting that some things we just can't change, despite our good intentions. Serenity found the waiver I had signed and on my asking, found out how it came to be at Dandelion. It was taken from the waiver from my home community's witch camp. Of course. The organizers being somewhat new to Reclaiming, wouldn't it make perfect sense to use a waiver from the community that birthed Reclaiming? <br />
<br />
<div style="color: black;">
"<i>The adult undersigned fully agrees to hold confidential all information
regarding other participants, especially the emotional process of other
individuals, and lifestyle choices of D5 participants. Confidential
means to refrain from gossip or commenting on other participant's
behavior/personal process. This is to create a safe environment for
people to do deep work, and is part of our commitment to eliminate
gossip in the Reclaiming Community. Gossip is not supported at any
Reclaiming events.</i>"</div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br />
Read that again, slowly.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
What mature adult can take a waiver like this seriously, much less sign it? What community commits to eliminate gossip? Is such a thing even possible or even desirable in human community? Does this not scream, yell and holler red flag? </div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
Serenity assured me I could stay, even though I crossed off that part, along with Macha, Dawn, Donald and Mark. They, other than the organizers, are the only people I complained to. I was determined not to make a fuss, it would not serve the community or myself. I stayed for the rest of the day, but part of me continued to be shocked that so many in my home community sign this year after year. It literally boggled my mind. To add insult to injury, I was told by several people it was put into use around the same time as I wrote the article on gossip for the Reclaiming Quarterly. </div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
Mark spoke up about the waiver the next day at a feedback meeting, and pretty much everyone agreed that it was ridiculous. Outside of my home community, that waiver makes no sense. Why I can't participate in Reclaiming anymore is because in my home community, it does. </div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
And that's just something I can't change. </div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
Accepting that, I had two great days in Portland on my own, exploring book stores and food trucks and hearing tales each night of what was happening at Dandelion from Donald, Dawn, Mark and Jim. I felt at peace that I couldn't participate. I trusted the people there to come up with good changes to the principles of unity. I did wrestle some with the gathering working towards being more inclusive, yet the very fact of that waiver's continued existence in my home community excludes me from fully participating in Reclaiming. The Serenity Prayer helped calm me down. Acceptance is the solution to this problem.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
</div>
<div style="color: black;">
If Macha hadn't made such a dramatic exit, I would not be writing this post. I can't change my home community and I am no longer trying. However, losing Macha and there being no mention of it on the big Reclaiming listserve, only congratulatory e-mails about the changes to the Principles of Unity, compelled me to say something. Which led to hours of reflection on how to be in healthy relation to the tradition I helped create and what was and is my responsibility as an older adult who in my younger and middle years helped birth this tradition. A tradition that I can't really participate in fully any more.<br />
<br />
I can't change that. But, I can keep loving the people that I love, which really is the heart of any spiritual path. And, I can still use the principles of unity as organizing principles of my life. And, I can very simply tell my story. I think this is what elders or whatever you call people who have been around for many decades should do. Tell their stories.<br />
<br />
So, I am. <br />
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-17786219741991030092012-08-19T23:13:00.000-07:002019-09-17T09:09:27.489-07:00Dissent and Reclaiming<span style="font-size: large;">The following was a column that was published in the Reclaiming Quarterly, Spring 2002. Everything remains the same except the faith I had in Reclaiming was shaken deeply when my teacher's guild - The Independent Craft Teachers -put forth a proposal about transparency and accountability at witch camps. The fight against transparency and accountability was ugly and all of us but one do not remain in Reclaiming leadership or teaching. What does remain is my love for the Principles of Unity. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Meeting On The Field </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">From as far back as I remember, I have questioned why things are the way they are. This has worked out well for me as psychotherapist, as much of my job entails having a questioning attitude, exploring with curiosity why my clients are emotionally structured the way they are. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">However, the questioning attitude has not been received so well in other parts of my life. Questioning the dress code as kindergartner by wearing my beloved red velvet toreador pants to school resulted in me being sent home. Of course, it did not help that when the teacher informed me that pants were not allowed for girls, I immediately took them off. As a teenager I spent nights alone in my room without dinner after questioning my father as why he continued being part of the war machine.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I was tear-gassed at 15 while protesting the Vietnam war, and again at age 45 on the streets of Seattle. As a young feminist, I confronted rapists and as an anti-nuclear activist risked arrest time and time again. All of this has been harrowing, but nothing has been quite as personally challenging or confounding as being a voice of dissent in Reclaiming.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There are lots of hazards to voicing dissent. One of the perks of using this voice, of questioning authority, can be the lovely rush of self-righteousness, of being one of the good guys who are speaking up against all bad things. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As a Witch, I struggle to let go of this simplistic position of good versus evil, believing that this splitting of the world into two parts - heaven and hell - is what helped us get into the big mess we are currently in. It is one of our biggest challenges as human beings to move beyond our sense of a split world, to move away from seeing ourselves as good guys fighting the "axis of evil". </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Challenging and paradoxical, as one of Reclaiming's own principles of unity is to work for all forms of justice. How easy it is when invoking justice to also invoke ourselves as being on the side/scale of good, while others are on the side/scale of evil! If we become invested in seeing ourselves as some sort of Witchy magical superheroes, we make it harder to question and examine our own shadow.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Shadows desire recognition, when not acknowledged they swell in size, eventually blocking out light in their demand to be seen. Our principles of unity provide us with worthy tools for looking at shadow. Fostering the questioning attitude is one of them, as is employing a radical analysis of power. These tools have become somewhat rusty in Reclaiming, as we have fallen into the habit of when employing them, dividing ourselves into camps of right and wrong.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I have been a Reclaiming Witch for 20 years. I have seen us change from a small circle of Bay Area Witches into an international tradition. We strive to be non-hierarchical in a hierarchical and celebrity conscious over-culture. One of our core principles is that our ultimate spiritual authority is within and we need no other person to interpret the sacred to us. In spreading that message, we have created a thriving Witchcamp culture in which teachers have rankings, there is a pay scale, and teachers are treated like rock stars. We have a inspiring famous writer who draws people to us with her work and words. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We have challenges and many of our blessings are also curses as well. Like any community, we ourselves are a microcosm of the culture at large, with all the human foibles that entails. What sets us apart is our idealistic strivings, our belief in magic, and our beautiful principles of unity. In order for us to reflect these principles we need to truly foster a questioning attitude. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">In the past 20 years I have put myself and been thrust by others onto one side or the other of the good and bad polarity when the voice of dissent has been raised, hidden hierarchies have been revealed, or questions have been asked as to whether the structures we are creating reflect our values. It is difficult in Reclaiming to question structures without this being construed as a personal attack on those who participate in the structures. Fro a community that prides itself on being an alternative to the culture at large we have proved capable of fostering the same "if you are not with us, you are against us" attitude.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">For many, becoming a member of the Reclaiming community is like falling in love. We are struck by the extraordinary beauty and exquisite individuality of Reclaiming. The magic is intoxicatingly transformative. We feel home at last. Witchcamp, our public rituals, Starhawk's writings, and local classes are constantly courting and winning new lovers of Reclaiming. As in love, many leave with the initial rush of infatuation turns to something more mundane. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As we go to meetings, plan rituals, and begin to work in community, we begin to relate to the shadows in both our community and ourselves. As a community, we encourage individuals to do their own shadow work , but as a community we are not so prepared to have the shadow revealed. Like in relationships, many also leave Reclaiming a this point, feeling disgruntled and disillusioned. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The shadow dancing that is required in healthy relationship cannot be done if one partner refuses to acknowledge the dancesteps. In Reclaiming community these are the many unspoken hierarchies and some downright unpleasant politics. Sometimes we function more as a fan club than a community striving to model shared power and open leadership roles.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Many times when the disillusioned lover of Reclaiming speaks out it is not in a loving tone. The voice of dissent is also the voice of disappointment. It is not reasoned or compassionate. It is often bitter, angry, frustrated, and hurt. This makes it easy for us to dismiss this voice as mean, jealous, attacking, or symptomatic of a personality defect if not downright disorder. We rarely view this voice as containing the questioning attitude we purport to foster. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">According to Victor Naasy, publisher of <i>The Nation, </i>"The squelching of dissent happens in many ways, one of which is self-censorship. Another is attacking people who dissent by stigmatizing them. A third is attacking people who dissent by misrepresenting what they said. A fourth is where the government says you can't say something, and a fifth is where the government punishes you for saying it".</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The first three of these definitely operate in Reclaiming. I know because I myself self-censor out of fear. I also recognize I have participated in creating climates where others feel afraid to speak. There are times I have breathed into the fear, stated my opinion, and watched the stigmatization and misrepresentation fly. In the past 20 years, I am sure there are those I participated in dismissing who I could have listened more deeply to. I have learned through the years to take responsiblity for how I voice my dissent and watch out for the pesky varmint of self-righteousness. I also try to listen for the questioning attitude that lies under the irritating self-righteousness of others.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I am currently making an attempt to not take the squelching and stigmatizing all too personally. This is easier for me to do than a newcomer to Reclaiming. My marriage to Reclaiming has been long and rocky, but I have the deep and abiding faith that no other spiritual community would be a better match. My sense is that those who make it in a long-term relationship with Reclaiming are those who find a group they have affinity with who can support them when they get blasted for the questioning attitude.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My circle of friends are blessed with a sense of humor and enduring patience. As a therapist, I believe that individuals healing themselves is a revolutionary act. To create a community based on Reclaiming's Principles of Unity is hard and arduous work. Wedding vows rarely mirror the quality of the marriage, but they do give us something to aspire to. We want to create a culture where dissent is allowed and the questioning attitude is fostered. Of course we have trouble with this ourselves!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As Witches, we say "What happens between the worlds, can change all the worlds." By this, we mean that what we do in sacred space, in that place we create between the worlds, will ripple out and change the world at large. If we can learn to embrace the questioning attitude and invite different radical analyses of power into our own place between the worlds -this circle called Reclaiming - without reducing each other to good and evil, this would be a true feat of magic. The world needs changing, and we can start at home.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Rumi says "Beyond good and evil, there is a field. I'll meet you there." Let's meet on that field and talk openly about the problems we have as a community. I will wear some red toreador pants for the occasion. It's time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-39737970066570641582012-08-19T13:03:00.002-07:002015-08-19T14:55:18.994-07:00Attacking Leadership<br />
<br />
For many years I had a column in the Reclaiming Quarterly. It started out as a column on aromancy, but led over the years to be so much more. I post here a column that was published in August of 2003. I had to fight hard to get it printed, the issue being it was seen as an attack on leadership. My column was soon dropped. Rereading it this week, I just shook my head and felt incredibly sad. The blend that was and is Reclaiming has lost potency due to views like mine being experienced as attacks on leadership, and consequently so many of us putting our energy elsewhere. Why can't things like this be expressed in Reclaiming? Feel free to answer... or question!!!<br />
<br />
An Aromancer's Dream - Views on leadership in Reclaiming and in the world<br />
<br />
I have a magical drawer that is chock full of essential oils. Opening it is always an olfactory experience, the scent changing according to which bottle has been opened last, which random drop still clings to label or top. What pleasure to look at and inhale my storehouse of smells from root, leaf, nut, fruit, and flower! The essence of a field of Bulgarian roses touches up to dram of balsam collected by Brazilians drop by drop, the maple syrup of the Amazon. A thousand stories, a million possibilities lay waiting for the aromancer to blend into something new and delightful. <br />
<br />
In my drawer, there are oils that do not get along, that are not compatible. The beginning aromancer is warned against mixing such essences and encouraged to begin with simple blends. Tree oils tend to get along with spices and herbs. Flowers get along with exotics (like ylang ylang and sandalwood) and citrus. <br />
<br />
Beginning aromancers are instructed to start simply, just as musicians learn to compose with basic notes and chords, working towards more complex and intricate compositions.<br />
<br />
There are about ten essential oils which any beginning aromancer can start to create different blends. My drawer contains at least 100 oils, an overwhelming amount to confront. For the advanced aromancer, a wide array elicits the promise of a good challenge. Perfumers and aromancers strive towards incorporating wildly different scents into their concoctions, scents that aren't commonly thought to work together, crafting aromatic potions with as much drama and flourish as a good opera.<br />
<br />
I am part of a magical community as diverse and complex as my drawer of oils, with many of us taking names from the same beings that these oils are derived from.<br />
<br />
We started out, like the beginning aromancer starts out, as a small group of individual spirits, which essentially blended well together. We have become an enormous collection of wildly different beings and groups of beings, all held together by the name Reclaiming. Sometimes collections of us create something transformative, and sometimes the blend of individuals leave all feeling foul.<br />
<br />
Recently I have been thinking about Reclaiming and my drawer of oils. I have been thinking about conflict, about peace, and I have been thinking about the idea of "leadership". <br />
<br />
I realize that as aromancer and Witch, I view my community and drawer of oils in similar ways. Both are made up of spirits which are individual and distinct, which when blended together create new beings. All have worth and value. Some work well with many others. Some don't, but are incredible when handled carefully (like black pepper and mugwort) making what would be an ordinary blend extraordinary. Some I tend to work with more often and feel deep affinity with; some I work with only on rare occasion. All I see as divine, and none are required in every blend.<br />
<br />
Many of us are still recovering from our relationship with Yahweh, the God of the Jews and Christians. This God, when faced with those who did not behave as he wished, kicked them out of the garden. This god, when his favorite angel displeased him, sent him packing to hotter climes. How easy it is, when faced with conflict or working with those we find difficult, to imagine them moving elsewhere, or to simply stop talking to them. How much harder to keep seeing those we have conflict with as valuable, and essential to the mix!<br />
<br />
And how much harder this is to do globally, to view those we oppose politically as neither evil nor inhuman. It is challenging to see every human on this planet as having intrinsic value, especially when some of those humans are destroying what we love dearly and hold sacred. Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dalai Lama give voice to the many who have survived atrocities to the human spirit, yet somehow remain compassionate and reverent towards each individual being, no matter how damaged and destructive.<br />
<br />
I look into my drawer and breathe in the angelica. It is not a scent I enjoy individually, but mixed carefully with lavender and mandarin, it creates a fragrance that revitalizes.<br />
<br />
As my spiritual community has grown, we have become more complex. We now have as much diversity and depth as my drawer of scents. There are people in the community I downright don't like. There are those that don't like me. These are not necessarily the people I have had conflict with, given that some of my most potent conflicts have been with those I deeply love. We can look at the clash of dissonant personalities and views as a problem, we can look at our clashes as part of the challenge of creating a truly revolutionary blend.<br />
<br />
Gandhi said "If you want to change the world, change yourself". What a glorious challenge! I am choosing to view our community as a testing ground for this, believing that if we Witches can create a sustainable community with room for blending diverse voices, without killing each other, or shunning those we find offensive, then maybe this can happen in the world at large. If we can grow at the rate we have been growing, and stay true to our principles of unity, then perhaps we really are changing the world, one meeting and one ritual at a time.<br />
<br />
What I love about aromancy is the art of blending, of combining scents. Blended fragrances have a magic that is more intense, more poetic than the individual scents. <br />
This, to me, is also what is so powerful about working with groups. we live in a time that is an aromancer's dream. We are moving from the time of Pisces into the time of Aquarius. The age of Pisces gave us the romance of the hero, gave us such dreamers and visionaries as Martin Luther King and Gandhi. The Age of Aquariuss is about the romance of the blend, not the individual. In this age, individual leadership is not the point. <br />
<br />
In this age, heroes change moment to moment, people working together is the new mythos. No charismatic leader is springing from progressive movements, but instead an amazing sense of people working together. On the streets of Seattle a few years back (and I would add now, in the Occupy movement) what stands out is not individuals, but an amazingly diverse blend of spirits. We are not a homogenized group with one brilliant leader, but a complex and brilliant blend.<br />
<br />
To quote Pat Hogan, who was long time individual organizer of BC withcamp who segued into being part of an organizing team: <br />
<br />
"The Aquarian Age is all about building community, honoring many, as opposed to individual heroes, working for social justice, building a world of equals, communicating in honest ways and using technology for the betterment of all, accepting all races, orientations, peoples. Some of these values carry over to our own Reclaiming communities which I see happening more and more; speaking honestly and openly, naming the many in our community who have no "titles" but contribute much, questioning authority, questioning what has been in order to find new ways of being and working together, coming together under a common banner for actions and demonstrations."<br />
<br />
One question raised recently in Reclaiming is how to "support and encourage leadership". I strongly agree that we need to support and encourage each other into stepping into our power, but I think as we enter this new age, we will be looking for new language and new concepts to replace our Piscean ideas of leadership. <br />
<br />
Leadership implies that there is someone wh leads, who is out in front, guiding us. Etymologically it springs from a word which means "cause to go along one's way". As time goes on, my guess is that less of us will be interested in being leaders, nor will we be interested in being followers. <br />
<br />
What will interest us is being part of a powerful blend, where one spirit does not overwhelm all the rest, not steer the rest towards an individual vision. There will be more support and encouragement for turning the idea of individual leadership on its head, with a healthy respect given all who make up the circle, not just those who are comfortable in the middle of the circle. <br />
<br />
This does not mean we will need to discount those of us whose gifts tend to catch attention and hold it rapt. The most powerful blends include both delicate and strident scents. I support and encourage each of us to hold precious to our true and essential natures, to feel the vibrancy of our different qualities, and to notice how they imbue and enhance our community, even if we are washing the dishes instead of cooking the meal.<br />
<br />
We move from the individual hero into the time of the heroic blend. In this blend we call Reclaiming, we come together under a common banner. The spirits beneath that banner are as varied and complex as my drawer of scents from around the globe. <br />
<br />
Together we create something new, something strong, and something potent. On the streets of San Francisco, on the streets of New York, London, and around the globe, our powerful blend infuses the widening stream of other who, working together, are bringing in a dawn of a new age.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-2060882784940827822012-08-17T10:24:00.001-07:002012-08-20T16:42:09.568-07:00Reclaiming Feri I wrote this many years back for the British Reclaiming Newsletter - I have been going through both my blog and old articles and felt compelled today to post this... with a few small edits. More will follow! <br />
<br />
For many years now, when asked what flavor of witch I am, I reply “Reclaiming Feri”. Considering myself such, I make an uneasy peace with what formerly felt at odds. I now practice, teach and initiate from this perspective, and there are a growing number of Witches and priestesses who identify similarly, many who are active in British Reclaiming. So, what is Reclaiming Feri? Answering this question requires first an understanding of the relationship between Reclaiming and Feri. My coven Matrix and Windhag sister Starhawk was one of the founding mothers of Reclaiming. She brought to it a Feri flavor, being a Feri initiate of Victor and Cora Anderson. Her book, the Spiral Dance, primer on Reclaiming style magic, is full of what previously was considered solely Feri concepts and teachings. Some of these concepts, like the pentacles of iron and pearl, and the three souls/selves, have become core teachings of Reclaiming.<br />
<br />
Although many of the teachings of Reclaiming and Feri are in alignment, there is one huge difference between them. Reclaiming in not an initiatory tradition, while Feri is. You can be a witch and priestess in Reclaiming and never get initiated. It is purely a personal rite, with no special privileges or material you can’t access otherwise passed on. In Feri, you are only considered a Feri witch and priestess upon initiation, and material which is core to the tradition is revealed only at that time. <br />
<br />
For the first decade after Reclaiming was founded, there was considered to be two Reclaiming initiations. The second one was, in fact, a Feri initiation. This is how I, and others in the Reclaiming coven Triskets, came to be Feri initiates. This coven sprung from all of us (myself, Reya, Thorn, Gwydion, Anne Hill, and Patti Martin) preparing for “second initiation” in Reclaiming. At this point, there were only five or so others who’d gone thru “second initiation”. We conversely made things simpler and more complicated in Reclaiming regarding Feri. We simplified things in that we all became clear that this “second” initiation was really initiation into the Feri tradition. To my knowledge, no one in Reclaiming considers there now to be a second Reclaiming initiation. We complicated things by popularizing even more Feri concepts into wider Reclaiming, like the Black Heart, the Peacock God, and aligning the three souls. We both made it clear that Feri was a separate and distinct tradition, meanwhile infusing Reclaiming with a stronger dose of Feri flavor and tools.<br />
<br />
Feri had previously been a tradition that did not publicize or advertise itself, most practitioners believing that students would magically find the path to the right teacher, and many not charging for their teaching. Reclaiming, on the other hand, is one of the most public traditions in the Craft, with no qualms about advertising itself, recruiting students, and charging for teaching.. Reclaiming stresses openness and accessibility for all, while Feri has valued selectiveness and a low profile. <br />
<br />
Just as Feri has influenced Reclaiming, now Reclaiming witches who have been Feri initiated are now influencing the tradition of Feri. In the past, to study Feri by it’s very definition meant you were on an initiatory path with your teacher. Now, there is a rise in Reclaiming style workshops and trainings which teach Feri concepts and materials, with no common goal of students being initiated into the tradition. My Triskit coven sister, Thorn Coyle, with her book “Evolutionary Witchcraft”, and her advertised large trainings, is a perfect example of this, but by no means the only example. More and more Reclaiming witches who have been initiated into Feri are teaching Feri material within Reclaiming community and beyond. <br />
<br />
Naming myself a Reclaiming Feri witch and priestess, I acknowledge that I, like many others, am a hybrid of the two traditions. I honor and respect my friends, family, and students who choose to not become hybrids, who strongly believe in the Reclaiming value of non-hierarchy, and want to keep initiation as a personal commitment, not a requirement to be part of a tradition or community. <br />
<br />
As with everything, both Feri and Reclaiming traditions are made of both shadow and light. The same can be said of the hybrid – Reclaiming Feri. I helped create Reclaiming’s Principles of Unity and try to live by them. As a Feri initiate, I also gave my oath to not pass on, except at initiation, certain Feri materials. This is arguably antithetical to the values of Reclaiming, a tradition that strives for all to be in circle as equals, with no inner and outer court of secret material. In Feri, there are inner and outer court names for the Guardians and Gods, the inner court being revealed to initiates only. Calling in a circle with inner court names with non-initiates present would be considered sacrilegious to Feri. In Reclaiming, all hangs out, with an open door to access to the mysteries, initiation or not.<br />
<br />
To be Reclaiming Feri is to struggle with contradictions and marvel at paradox. For over a decade I’ve been theologically examining what I’ve gotten from both traditions and what it means to be a hybrid. I’ve tweaked and shifted many of my practices, and even the way I initiate. My black heart of innocence now beats in harmony with a green heart of consciousness and a pink heart of compassion. I’ve found that, for me, the point of power on the Iron pentacle is better balanced by a point of compassion on the Pearl pentacle than with liberty. I honor the power of names that I’ve received from Feri, the magic that resides in each and every syllable and letter, but in Reclaiming style, I’ve reclaimed each and every name I’ve received, listening intently until I have found my own names for the sacred, deepening my relationship to each God/dess and Guardian. The secrets I hold are now my own. <br />
<br />
What is Reclaiming Feri? How have elements of each tradition impacted the other, for better and worse? What does it mean to combine them? What mistakes have been made? These are questions that could be widely asked, with no rush to answer definitively. There is something distinct and particular being created as more and more Reclaiming witches receive training and initiation into Feri. Feri continues to be impacted as a tradition by the influx and interest of Reclaiming Witches. There is power in recognizing that something new continues to be created, and for all of us to examine the theological underpinnings of the hybrid, continuing to invoke in supposed Reclaiming fashion, the questioning attitude. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-7632252335587001602012-02-02T10:41:00.000-08:002012-02-02T10:42:05.766-08:00Offering for BrigidHere is my offering:<br /><br />Someday Our Peace Will Come - Ellyn Maybe<br /><br />one day poetry dropped from the sky<br />and the animals grew iambic pentameter tails<br />and the people breathed in stars<br /><br />one day music dropped from the sky<br />and the architecture turned symphonic<br />and the people breathed in harmony<br /><br />one day memory dropped from the sky<br />and the past present and future sifted like flour<br />and the people breathed in wonder<br /><br />smoke and ash<br />as distant as two sides of the same coinUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-25825407469900486712011-07-21T11:11:00.000-07:002013-03-17T06:42:44.158-07:00Hallelujah<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">Maybe there’s a God above
<br />But all I’ve ever learned from love
<br />Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
<br />It’s not a cry you can hear at night
<br />It’s not somebody who has seen the light
<br />It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">Leonard Cohen</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">What is the difference between a romantic and a mystic? Is there any?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">A few years back, I was seeing a talented psychic and spiritual teacher through a bad heartbreak. In matters of the own heart, being psychic proves no defense. One day, in the midst of tears, she sobbed, “The truth is, I love God the most”. We both took a deep breath and then simultaneously broke into laughter. Eventually this turned to tears all around. Laughing and crying are the same release. Together, they are divine.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">
<br /><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Could it be that every love affair is with God in some aspect or other? Could it be that every broken heart resides in the same place as the mystic’s Dark Night of the Soul?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">
<br /><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am relentlessly romantic. And a mystic. And a Pagan. I guess I do love God the most, and I see her everywhere. In my clients, my garden, my child, my friends, the wild coast, and of course, in every person I have passionately kissed.
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">And, when break-ups have happened, especially those not of my choosing, it has been a break up with God herself. And… paradoxically, she presents herself all over the place eventually to give comfort. The Divine turns out to be the rebound lover of this lifetime.
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">This struck me hard listening to Joni Mitchell’s Blue album the other day, the album that has been a musical cornerstone of my life. It consoled me thru the 6 week trek through <st1:place st="on">Europe</st1:place> with my 12 year old sister that I did at 15 – sans parents or adults. I don’t even think I ever had opportunity to play it, but it stood up in my suitcase lid every night, my first altar. I’ve played it over and over every time I have fallen in love, and every time I have been hurt by love.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">What is it about that album? Move over, Rumi and Hafiz….. Joni’s songs have indeed been tattoos, each etching under my skin some element of the dance with the Beloved, the journey of mystic and romantic, those of us who want to drink a case of the divine and still be on our feet, rejoicing.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Do all romantics and mystics meet the same fate someday? Pretty much all have to go through the dark café days, yes. The Beloved will eventually disappear or disappoint, or we will ourselves walk away. The fracturing of the heart pulls the dark cocoon around us, and yet, on that lonely road we travel, if we pay attention, we meet the Beloved again and again.
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Loving the Divine does not mean you don’t get your heart broken. You do. But, sometimes, when you least expect it, the dark cocoon of emptiness erupts and gorgeous wings appear.
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">And even if they don’t, a true romantic and mystic will still be able to eek out Hallelujah. And sometimes sing it.
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Have I told you how much I love Joni and Leonard? They are simply and complexly divine.
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-87878141688042186292011-04-18T19:05:00.000-07:002011-04-19T09:39:08.189-07:00spring spell<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4BTPuanjLFqr397P6iYIOKXi5Bx1UtyUT3FG30KMd6KXDZVhLXQv6fcDB7G8F8CYfxHjqXFS8pWiXRpBOZxbiFqgBzKvM5dOhPNitDknKZHML0sTmpbzMZy9J0W5YsNv8whlS/s1600/psanky+2G.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4BTPuanjLFqr397P6iYIOKXi5Bx1UtyUT3FG30KMd6KXDZVhLXQv6fcDB7G8F8CYfxHjqXFS8pWiXRpBOZxbiFqgBzKvM5dOhPNitDknKZHML0sTmpbzMZy9J0W5YsNv8whlS/s320/psanky+2G.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597129692605064962" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggwnNKQQc3O35UcldQ0Q07h9TAcfDysXjHJqJrD5xY-lK-vdhYmcztHH_pNstgeeP2j6M4fhEXjBHBxnWwtU_4l6EO_ZF-7AvICDn7guQELJRoYepEubUa6L9msK7fhzivIAsS/s1600/psanky+1.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggwnNKQQc3O35UcldQ0Q07h9TAcfDysXjHJqJrD5xY-lK-vdhYmcztHH_pNstgeeP2j6M4fhEXjBHBxnWwtU_4l6EO_ZF-7AvICDn7guQELJRoYepEubUa6L9msK7fhzivIAsS/s320/psanky+1.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597129683577295426" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div>Morels, spring garlic, asparagus, duck eggs, several bouquets of sweet peas and daffodils. This is what came home with me from the farmer’s market this weekend. Last night I slivered some of the spring garlic, sautéing it along with the morels in butter. Served over a steak along with grilled asparagus, on a table graced with a vase of fragrant flowers, I gave thanks for the season and savored the taste and smell of it.<br /><br />The duck eggs? My neighbor has been baking up a storm – lemon pound cake most notably – from the eggs which I have been blowing out to make psyanky eggs.<br /><br />I have been making <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pysanka">psyanky eggs</a> for over forty years, learning the art from a friend in junior high. The practice precedes Christianity and takes a lot of time and focused attention. It is serious spell work. At eighteen, I complemented my wages as a dishwasher by selling psyanky at <a href="http://www.whitebirdgallery.com/">a gallery</a> in the little town I had moved to on the Oregon coast. I ate a lot of eggs and friends kept me company as I drew symbols on the empty shells with melted beeswax, dipping them in progressively darker dyes, drawing out the future I wanted for myself.<br /><br />Before the internet, the address of the store where I got supplies I kept close to me, a treasure in itself. Now I have easy access to Ukrainian small businesses which sell psyanky supplies, but I like to remain faithful to <a href="http://www.surmastore.com/order.html">the small store in the East Village</a> which has been mailing me dyes and kistkas for decades now. After years of ordering from them, I finally visited the store a few years back. It was everything I imagined it to be, small and magical and filled to the gills with decorated eggs of every size and shade.<br /><br />My goddess daughters have learned the art from me, and many of my friends have an egg or two or three in their possession. I have given them to new parents to bless a birth and put them in the coffins of loved ones who have died. This morning, I gave a friend who is recovering from several losses an egg covered with hearts and the word joy. Every egg is different, and every line and color has meaning. Red for love, violet for power, green for growth, white for purity, pink for success, blue for health. Apples and plums are for wisdom and healing, windmills signify happiness, birds bring fertility, dots stand in for the stars and constellations, flowers bring beauty, deer bring prosperity. Lines drawn around the eggs symbolize infinity and eternity.<br /><br />This year, my new art studio has a table covered with jars of dyes and my beeswax, candle, kistka, and eggs have traveled from studio to kitchen and dining room table, depending on who is visiting and where we are sitting.<br /><br />Egg magic is a powerful and unpredictable thing. Every spring there are eggs that explode in the last step of melting the wax off or crack suddenly as I am working on it. Doing psyanky is practicing the art of non-attachment. The spell is in the process, not the finished product. Every egg takes the dye in a different way, control over the wax is minimal. It is not an art for perfectionists. I love it.<br /><br />When I finish writing this, I will get back to psyanky making. I think this next egg will be pink, green, and blue. It will be a spell to assure many many many more springs with morels, duck eggs, asparagus, and spring garlic. Oh yes, and bouquets of daffodils and sweet peas as well. And psyanky spell crafting. <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><blockquote><blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></span></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-28933238495390697002011-03-23T20:02:00.000-07:002011-03-23T22:57:25.683-07:00into the light<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CDEBORA%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">There are those who would set fire to the world.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">We are in danger.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">There is only time </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">to work slowly.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">There is no time</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">not to love.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The day after the reactors in <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">Japan</st1:country-region></st1:place> started to melt down these lyrics sprang to mind. Not a day has gone by since when I haven’t found myself singing them, or sharing them with clients or friends.. <span style=""> </span>They come from a poem by Deena Metzger and Charley Murphy put them to music in the 1980’s. <span style=""> </span>It was a song that was sung at my first marriage, the two of us devoted at the time to not only each other, but anti-nuclear work.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The past two weeks the disaster in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Japan</st1:place></st1:country-region> has come in and out of my therapy room. The rain here in our city seems to be relentless, and it feels to many like we <span style=""> </span>might live out our lives amidst a storm that will not cease.. Several clients have mentioned that they have been trying to put together an earthquake preparedness kit only to find out that first aid kits and whistles (which you blow if stuck in rubble) are sold out in this city. Along with, of course, potassium iodine.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">So, I keep breathing into that song. I also keep flashing on a scene from my childhood. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, I lived outside of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Detroit</st1:place></st1:city>. We had a bomb shelter in our basement.. <span style=""> </span>During that stand-off with Russia, when nuclear war seemed imminent, I was down in that grim little room, <span style=""> </span>playing with Barbie, trying to get away from the fear of the grown ups and the television news.. My legs stuck to the green vinyl couch and squiggling away, I looked up at the big shelf of spam and deviled ham and had a moment of childhood clarity.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I had been told that it would be so bright (the bombing) that I’d have to put a pillow over my eyes to not be blinded. <span style=""> </span>It hit me clearly that I would not go along with my parents plan. <span style=""> </span>Spending the rest of my life with my family in that little room, eating spam while the earth above me was scorched, this was truly horrifying. I resolved to walk out into the light, Barbie in hand. Hopefully dressed in her pink satin evening dress with the white boa.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" face="arial"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">That childhood clarity still abides in me. I still retain that image of walking out into the light rather than hiding out in the dark. Which doesn’t mean I don’t believe in being prepared for an earthquake.<span style=""></span> Of course, my earthquake kit sure doesn't include spam. And, I truly think I would feel safer with a cyanide pill than with a whistle.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:arial;">
<br /></p><p face="arial" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-2927198766133318312011-03-20T22:09:00.000-07:002011-03-20T22:27:50.461-07:00tipping the balance<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; ">The wind is fierce and the rain heavy.<br />The avocado tree lashes against the bedroom window.<br />Who can sleep amidst this stormy change?<br /><br />The tree threatens to break into my room<br />And somewhere, there is war, hunger, sudden and slow death<br />I pull the covers close.<br /><br /> All I can do is breathe and love, which dilutes the fear.<br /> Listening to the hard rain and the pounding of branches<br /> I lean into my heart and wait for shattered glass.<br /><br />Have I told you how much I love this world?</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; border-collapse: collapse; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;">I wrote that last night amidst the mighty storm here in San Francisco. Today is spring equinox in a world tipped mightily out of balance. I wait for the disaster(s) to come through my windows or doors.. to impact me as so many people around the world are impacted. And yet, my good life continues, and I do sleep through the night in a warm bed, well fed, content with my work, surrounded by beauty and love. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;">Last night I worried about the tree, and my window, and knew I would have to get this tree cut down as it is dangerous to the building. We'd talked about this before, as the tree also blocks so much light out of the garden and has grown in a way that is awkward and top heavy. This morning, I woke to the tree filling the backyard, having cracked and blown over in the night, miraculously not waking me. No need to cut it down now! And any damage done is to the arugula and maybe the rhubarb. We were going to work in the garden this weekend and put in new plants. The rain curtailed this.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;">My heart is aching from world events, but today, looking at the tree in the garden, I marveled at my luck and gave thanks. It is equinox. With every day, the light will increase in my garden. I will have the tree cut up and taken away, and I thank it for not hurting my home. I will grow more arugula and rhubarb and put in zucchini and other vegetables. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;">The wheel will turn. And I will keep loving this world.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-77544612350156207402011-03-14T21:31:00.000-07:002011-03-15T09:53:45.085-07:00hard rain<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">"And I'll tell and think it and speak it and breathe it<br />And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it<br />Then I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin'<br />But I'll know my songs well before I start singin'<br />And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard<br />It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall."</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Last night, as I was driving from San Francisco north on 101 to Forestville, Dylan's <i>Hard Rain</i> came up on my iPod shuffle. A few lines into it, I was sobbing. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">The night before the tsunami in Japan I had a nightmare that San Francisco was flooded and I couldn't find my son. I woke to a phone call from a friend back east, concerned that I was okay. She said she'd heard San Francisco was going to be hit by a tsunami. From that moment on, it's felt like I don't know the difference anymore between dreamtime and waking time.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Back in the last century, I spent a lot of time fighting nuclear power and nuclear weapons. My spiritual community was forged in this endeavor, many of us being arrested time and time again practicing civil disobedience to stop the proliferation of nuclear weapons and power. Tonight, so many decades later, there are nuclear reactors melting down in Japan. A hard rain is falling and will continue to fall.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">I find myself crying easily and regularly. My altar has on it a globe on which I have circled Japan with a heart and many drawings and prayers. I feel a great tenderness towards everything and everyone, and a gratitude for every sign of spring that shows itself.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">What else can we do? I am sure there is plenty. This year I plan to seriously tackle getting solar panels on my roof. I will continue to walk more, drive less. Money will be sent to those doing work to shut down reactors. Time will be spent and energy expended. But, for right now, I think crying and tuning into the beauty of the spring blossoms is about all I can manage. And praying.<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;"><br /></span></span><div><div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;">'<br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:11;" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;font-size:100%;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11;"><br /></span></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-57871357192848362382011-02-01T21:08:00.000-08:002011-02-01T21:14:34.384-08:00Offering to BrigidMindful<div><br /></div><div>Every day</div><div>I see or I hear </div><div>something </div><div>that more or less</div><div><br /></div><div>kills me</div><div>with delight,</div><div>that leaves me</div><div>like a needle</div><div><br /></div><div>in the haystack</div><div>of light.</div><div>It is what I was born for -</div><div>to look, to listen,</div><div><br /></div><div>to lose myself</div><div>inside this soft world -</div><div>to instruct myself</div><div>over and over</div><div><br /></div><div>in joy,</div><div>and acclamation.</div><div>Nor am I talking </div><div>about the exceptional,</div><div><br /></div><div>the fearful, the dreadful,</div><div>the very extravagant -</div><div>but of the ordinary,</div><div>the common, the very drab,</div><div><br /></div><div>the daily presentation,</div><div>Oh, good scholar,</div><div>I say to myself,</div><div>how can you help</div><div><br /></div><div>but grow wise</div><div>with such teachings</div><div>as these - </div><div>the untrimmable light</div><div><br /></div><div>of the world,</div><div>the ocean's shine,</div><div>the prayers that are made</div><div>out of grass?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> Mary Oliver</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-25694826908473900672010-03-16T21:10:00.000-07:002010-03-16T21:43:06.704-07:00mars goes direct<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">I’ve been sleeping soundly for the past week, dreaming the kind of dreams that only can be described as sweet. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">My rhythm seems to be congruent with the season, and the movement of planets. </span><a href="http://wisestars.net/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Fern</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> tells me that Mars went direct last week, and things that have felt stuck, will begin to move. For me, that move was immediate, and my mood found its mirror in the brilliant spring days. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">It’s nice to have a good friend who is an astrologer, who tells you when planets go direct, and who also gives you the heads up when a new moon is a particularly auspicious time for making wishes, Fern told me to do things yesterday that I wanted to bring into or maintain in my life. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Check. And then some.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Over coffee and with the magic of skype, I talked to a dear friend in England and we did some planning of <a href="http://avalonspring.wordpress.com/">Avalonspring</a>. My son had the day off from school and we worked happily together on some details around next year's college. My son helped me garden, and I mindfully planted seeds for things that are delicious and nurturing. I got news that a beloved friend who I haven't seen for 2 years will visit me in April. An unexpected connection was made and my weekend dance card became delightfully full. I worked in my art studio. I challenged my professional association to not bow into the<a href="http://www.afa.net/Blogs/BlogPost.aspx?id=2147492622"> religious right</a> and to stand up against hatred. I put money in the bank and was grateful for the work I do. I went for a walk. I swam for an hour. I got an 80 minute massage. Then, I went out to dinner with a friend who had just finished a book and feasted on good food and even better conversation. I walked home, loving with every step where I live. And, wonderfully, time expanded and the day felt long and spacious. Then I slept and had sweet dreams. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Equinox, here I come!!! From being off kilter for months, I suddenly seem to be coming into some balance. If yesterday planted the seeds of the coming years, then everything is sure to be coming up roses.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">And, I am trusting that those roses will be of many colors and all smell divine. </span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-56026233760796708262010-03-10T21:17:00.000-08:002010-03-10T21:30:56.410-08:00Turn and face the strange. changes.<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none; text-autospace:none"><span style="font-family:Arial; mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;">"We cannot change anything until we accept it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Carl Jung<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;">I come from a spiritual tradition that believes that magic is the art of changing consciousness at will and that practicing this magic is our sacred duty. I have been in large groups of people more times than I can count, holding hands and doing a spiral dance, chanting “She changes everything she touches, and everything she touches, changes”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>She, of course, is the Goddess. She is paradoxical gal, and she knows that the only constant is, yep, change.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: -webkit-xxx-large;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;">In the past months, I’ve been going through changes. Big Ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And, oh, how I want to use my will to change this!!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I’ve done countless cleansings, purifications, furniture has been moved, and every closet and drawer organized. I’m that kind of magician. I know how to cast a circle and wave around my athame and/or wand with charged gusto, but I find cleaning my refrigerator just as effective. Incantations, of course, are involved in both.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: -webkit-xxx-large;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;">So, I’ve done my best to meddle, to spell out where I want to get to; that calm (tidy and well organized) beach across this stormy emotional sea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Yet, the sea is still stormy. So, acceptance is the damn issue. And that takes awhile. How I want the winds of change to whip though, followed by fires of transformation, me emerging like Yemaya from the healing waters of this stormy sea, emanating self-love and pearls of wisdom dripping off me from the irritation of this experience!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But no, as it turns out, the only way to really endure a stormy sea is to invoke the deep gravity of the earth, accepting the weight of time and doing nothing but enduring. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: -webkit-xxx-large;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;">Everyday in my work I balance the power of silence with the power of the word… when is my job to intervene, engage and spell out change and when is my job to simply be silent and bear witness?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The truth is, to be an effective change agent, we have to have both hands holding these different reins, open to changing consciousness at will, and open to doing nothing but accepting what is. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: -webkit-xxx-large;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;font-size:13.0pt;">My hands are on these reins. My closets are clean, my pantry organized. Even my taxes are done! And, I’m accepting that my heart is still one big mess and breathing into it and letting it be okay. But, I will still keep cleaning. And muttering incantations. Balance is the issue and thank the Goddess, her time is NOW. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-46906222074510281182010-03-03T08:40:00.000-08:002010-03-03T08:48:34.532-08:00To sleep: perchance to dream: aye, there’s the rub.<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Being a therapist, and good friends with not just one, but TWO world-class dream workers, I am well acquainted with the transformative power of dreams. As a woman who has been grieving, I also am too well acquainted with the power of dreams to disturb and disrupt sleep. How many times can a person be run over by a white van, the dream shifting ever so slightly in whether I see it coming, stand firm, run , or get it from behind as I’m happily pulling weeds in a big garden? Apparently a lot, with even little additions like a hose that comes out and sprays boiling water on me, and a sound system blaring salsa music. Understanding the dream hasn’t made it go away, but I am working in dreamtime to get a vehicle of my own that can simply pass the white van and keep going. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I know these white van dreams, and others like them, are part of the process of integrating loss into my being, are normal ways my unconsciousness is trying to make sense of the what makes absolutely no sense to me in my waking life. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But, I have to sleep. Without it, I lose my ability to function. I can’t listen to clients, and truly want to spend my day curled up in bed, with only the bandwidth of attention needed for bad television. Naps just lead to more dreams, and make sleeping even harder at night. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">So, I have to sleep. <a href="http://helpguide.org/life/sleep_tips.htm">There’s been lots written on good sleep habits, on making your bed a comfortable and inviting place which you only associate with sleep (not hard in my present circumstance), and drinking warm milk or herbal teas before and the art and practice of winding down. </a></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I got these all covered, and still. The truth is if you have a big loss or huge stressor, it perchance and the perchance is high, will come into dreamland with you. And it will wake you up, again and again. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Alcohol doesn’t help, that just makes it worse, as it assures waking in the middle of night, left to toss and turn with only muddied memories of bad dreams and no hope of going back to sleep. I’ve tried varied herbal sleep formulas, and I can’t say any of them kept back the dreams and kept me asleep.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">My sense is that the dreams do need to come. And I need my sleep. So, we juggle, dreamland and I, with a triage approach on what will keep me the most functional. I have a nice white and effective jar of sleeping pills that I know if I take regularly I will end up hooked on. So, I use them only when needed, and no more than three times a week. And I am so grateful for them and their power to give uninterrupted sleep.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The night before last , I woke up bone tired, my heart chakra feeling ripped open by the nightmares I’d dreamed. Trying to make it to a car of my own, as the white van headed towards me, I opened the door of what I thought was a VW and it turned out to be made of beautiful tissue paper – like a Japanese kite. Soar, I started to incant, soar!!!! Epithets cames streaming from the white van as it aimed itself at me. I woke, sweating, the feel of torn tissue paper all around my legs, not sure if I was truly broken from the dreamtime. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Last night, I opened my white jar and embraced better living through chemistry. I slept and even dreamed. This time about the salad variety of mache. I dreamed I had a beautiful packet of seeds and was putting them in the garden and suggesting to Andrea and Bryan, who live below me, that we become mache farmers, that I was sure it was going to catch on and be the next gourmet lettuce.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">This is the kind of dream that will help me through my day, and the tenderness and irritability of yesterday is gone. Tonight, I’ll do all my good habits and practices and perhaps and perchance, I’ll have sweet dreams. Sandman, bring me some, please? And barring a sweet dream, how about a really nice Jaguar, Rolls, or Benz that I can jump into? </span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-7734465613900076432010-02-24T22:26:00.000-08:002010-02-24T23:27:26.550-08:00Hera is at home<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span></span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLTrv2sTDakw5YUIJmYD9-T_NbX64oV6FsYze416226RN3dQaNFvXZ4Xw_wiRta-XFJaNLHau9r2u0yaXhmD7u252Z4P9uYKUMu-cZUJKTS7auFKiNesQ3gSASYdmO1Np9VxzW/s1600-h/IMG_0237.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLTrv2sTDakw5YUIJmYD9-T_NbX64oV6FsYze416226RN3dQaNFvXZ4Xw_wiRta-XFJaNLHau9r2u0yaXhmD7u252Z4P9uYKUMu-cZUJKTS7auFKiNesQ3gSASYdmO1Np9VxzW/s320/IMG_0237.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442070389985305074" /></a><br /><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p>Sometime around solstice, when I was still in shock from the sleeper wave that destroyed my marriage, my good friend Donald suggested that I work with Hera.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Looking around my home, with its rich reds and abundance of peacock feathers, I realized that Hera already had been welcomed here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Today, she really established residency.</o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">I’d taken the day off to spend with one of my newest friends. She turned 60 today and asked me to spend the day with her. How could this offer be refused?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I rescheduled or cancelled clients and freed up my calendar to celebrate my friend. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">Yesterday it stormed all day. This morning, the sky was still grey and overcast. After doing a tarot reading at her house, we drove valiantly across the Golden Gate Bridge and climbed through the fog up Mount Tam, until we were above the clouds , seemingly alone on the wet and glistening mountain. As we hiked, we alternately viewed swirling fog below us and the beautiful panorama of life which is the San Francisco Bay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">Crows cawed at us and turkey vultures swooped down to check us out. I cried, over and over again, “We are not dead, YET!” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Getting older is daunting. I just turned 55, and my friend is a bit in shock about being 60. There's a point when your realize you are no longer middle age, as certainly we probably won't be living until 110 or 120. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">After our hike, when we descended the mountain we stopped at her favorite antique shop in Marin, set back amidst beautiful gardens and clerked by an odd assortment of older women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We meandered around the store, her finding some crystal candlesticks discounted by half, me finding some sweet china teacups perfect for holding the dark chocolate pot de crème I love to make. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">At the counter, a bust of what seemed to be an ancient Goddess caught my eye. Aphrodite? No, right there on the tag , it said Juno, Goddess of the Heavens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I know who Juno is. She’s just another name for Hera.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">So, now Hera, for a very reasonable price, has taken up residence in my home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>She is not the Goddess of the Heavens. She is the Goddess of my Home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">She tells me that taking off from work to celebrate a friend’s birthday was exactly the right thing to do. She also reassures me that not every marriage can be saved and that edging into old age really isn't that bad.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">Today proved that Hera has my back, that life will continue to unfold and friendships will continue to be made and deepened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am not dead yet, and probably won’t be for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Until I am, I will be celebrating the births of people I love and paying attention to when the Gods make their appearance. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;">They do, you know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>On mountain tops and in cluttered antique stores. The trick is paying attention. Today, I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:-webkit-xxx-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuV8KQwtkmdmCbCDUNTwmTnr3lSVrLeaGSOhWVr4U1xkM2nzK9MwdVz8o4y6oKQsYeYBJc9Ua4MCTl_H2rGlXZbLFiNHus6XUi-weC4B6UO64GlSbU2O4DIKF-ElirFq5vJOTZ/s1600-h/IMG_0240.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuV8KQwtkmdmCbCDUNTwmTnr3lSVrLeaGSOhWVr4U1xkM2nzK9MwdVz8o4y6oKQsYeYBJc9Ua4MCTl_H2rGlXZbLFiNHus6XUi-weC4B6UO64GlSbU2O4DIKF-ElirFq5vJOTZ/s320/IMG_0240.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442070571286067266" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /></a></span></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-88654437424424906492010-02-22T21:56:00.000-08:002010-02-23T07:28:14.953-08:00monday night miracles<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">It’s rare that my teenage son will spend an evening with me going to a movie and dinner, but that small miracle happened tonight. We went to see </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Shutter Island</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">, which is a movie you can’t say a whole heck of a lot about or you wreck it for people who haven’t seen it. I have some things to say that won’t wreck it, and these are some of the things that my son and I actually talked about over the sushi dinner we had after the show. Yep, we talked and he did not text once. Thank you, Martin Scorcese. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Like the bulk of Scorcese’s films, violence is major theme in </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Shutter Island</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">. </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Shutter Island</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> addresses quite brilliantly how twisted we can become when we can't face our own capability for violence. There’s a poignant bit of dialogue after a big storm where the warden of the Shutter Island talks with the protaganist about the violence of nature, surmising that violence is a natural part of the human nature as well as God’s nature.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Denying this, only leads to madness. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Four months ago, violence touched our lives. The violence was literally scarring, but what was worse was losing someone we both loved to the madness that incurs when violence has to be disavowed and those you hurt, vilified. Another miracle occurred tonight in </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Shutter Island </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">being the perfect vehicle for us to discuss trauma, violence, and the power of denial to twist the human psyche. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Now we are home and he’s busy upstairs texting friends and playing music. I’m writing this, grateful for the small miracle of this night, and thinking about the nature of violence and the damage it wreaks, especially when it is denied. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">A big storm passed through our lives. It was violent, and sudden, and there continues to be some clean up to do. The conversations that </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Shutter Island</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> inspired are part of the clean up.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Again, thank you, Martin Scorcese! You've given me a lot to think about. </span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11036728.post-49490691230039938142010-02-17T08:04:00.001-08:002010-02-17T08:59:22.592-08:00The call of the wild<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">I grew up in the hills south of San Jose, which at that time was a city dotted heavily with apricot and plum orchards and fields of garlic and strawberries. At twelve, I spent a summer with my older cousin picking “cots” and cutting them, laying them out on big wooden trays to dry in the sun, making enough money to fund the things my parents wouldn’t, like psychedelic posters.<br /><br />Spending a weekend at Pantheacon, which happens in a big hotel surrounded by miles of industrial parks and fast food franchises, where in my memory I can see those orchards, is always a bit challenging. Especially because Pcon falls in the time of year those orchards would be blooming - if they still existed.<br /><br />Driving home, on the brilliantly warm Monday, I found myself doing a little sing song chant about needing more nature in my nature religion and naming all the things I would do that day out in the garden. "Come on in, nature, let the dirt get under my fingernails!", I sang. Yes, sometimes alone in the car I can appear rather crazy.<br /><br />So, I came home and did those things. I weeded, I turned over soil, I feed my worms and I sat in the garden, just inhaling the beauty of California in February. Dirt was under my fingernails.<br /><br />Later, I was in my living room, going through seed catalogues, when I heard strange sounds from my back room. My cat was making a weird meow and there were crashing sounds and what turned out to be beating wings against glass. A blue jay had mysteriously gotten in the house though the back door…which is under stairs and not a clear passage way for a bird. Nature was where it should not be. It took a long time, and a refrigerator was moved, things broke, and there were moments I feared I would kill the bird in trying to save it. But I saved it. It finally joined the mate who had been screeching thoughout the entire debacle, and both rested in the blooming plum tree next door.<br /><br />I laughingly said to friends and family that maybe I’d invoked nature a little too hard on that drive back. Last night, the joke went way too damn far. I picked up what I thought was a flower on a stem that must have fallen out of an old arrangement I’d thrown in the compost a few days before. But it was not a flower. It was not a stem. It was mouse entrails and a tail. The horror.<br /><br />I am fifty five years old. I’ve done many things in my life. But I have NEVER held mouse entrails and a tail in my bare hands. And it’s been years since my old cats have shown any interest in hunting. There was nothing normal about this occurrence.<br /><br />The wild has been calling a little too incessantly in the past few days. Nature has been where it is unnatural to be. And the thing is, usually these things happen in threes. I’m just waiting now for the ant invasion.<br /></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9